Roadie Glossary

This piece is for the families and loved ones of roadies everywhere, in hopes this will help keep the glaze off their eyes when we’re talking about our jobs….

Bus Life

Back lounge: The rear section of a tour bus, generally the smoking area.
Bus factor: The degree to which bad movies improve due to extended bus rides. Lower is better. Formula: B = (D * M * N) / S where D = days, M = miles, N = number of people, S = gallons of booze.
Bus surfing: The art of walking/standing on a moving bus.
Bus stock: Consumables stored in the bus. Often liquid, often flammable.
Backline: Band gear that isn’t an instrument, like amps or speakers.
Bunk sock: Tawdry. You figure it out.
Bob-tail: (1) A tractor traveling without a trailer. (2) A box truck.

Gear & Tech

Air impedance: Also known as not plugged in.
Boat anchor: A heavy piece of gear that’s basically useless.
Cadillac: Huge road case for massive cable bundles. Clair Bros special.
Can: A lighting fixture with a single bulb.
Cheeseburger: A clamp made by Chesebourough to hold lighting pipes together.
Clusterfuck: (1) A terrible situation. (2) Too much crap in too little space.
Com, I-com: Intercom gear for setup and show-time coordination.
Console short: Operator error. AKA pilot error.
Crapped out: Dead. Died. Toast.
Deck: The stage itself.
Dog-house: Extension of a console case to avoid disconnecting cables.
Distro: Electrical distribution panel. May hum with power. Or doom.

Audio Terms

Bright: General high-frequency predominance. Makes it sparkle.
Boxxy: Excessive mids. Sounds like hitting a cardboard box.
Crisp: Heavy 8–16kHz. Also: breathy.
Cunt-hair: A tiny bit. You know why.
Delay: Audio effect repeating sound after a time. Not to be confused with reverb.
Farting: Distorted sound, often a torn speaker.
Gate: Effect that lets signal pass only under certain conditions.
Honky: Sounds like talking through your nose. Not a compliment.
Reverb: Simulates sound bouncing in a space. Can be dead, live, or decay forever.
Woofie: Low-mid heavy. Makes you say “woof.”
Wooly: British for woofie.

Phrases & Slang

“Et phone home”: There’s an unprotected long-distance line in the office.
“Never get off the bus”: Self-explanatory survival tip.
“Hot-dog and a roadmap”: You’re fired.
“Emergency repair procedure #1”: Hit it. With a hammer. Preferably a universal adjustor.

Worlds

Monitor world: Where stage sound decisions get made. Hopefully sober.
Dimmer beach: Where lighting crew roasts everyone and everything.
Guitar land: More axes than a medieval army.
Laser-land: High voltage meets water. What could go wrong?
Video world: Like your living room, but with more wires.